Random thoughts of the morning...

I had burritos for breakfast this morning because I was out of breakfast stuff I like. I'm a brat when it comes to food, and though I think my reasons for being so are totally rational, it still makes me a brat. ;P

I'm too caught up in too many things right now to make too much sense. I want to write poetry, but if I get in that mode, I won't have tiem to get ready and get to work... so I'm resisting at least until I get to work where I'll scrawl poetry across the back pages of my planner between customers, which I won't have too many of anyway because I'm at the main branch today, and everyone there goes to the tellers they know. Which isn't me because it's not my branch. So I'll write poetry then, but can't yet for fear of making myself late.

I made an appointment with my therapist for Monday, which is good, because I really have to talk to her about some of the stuff going on in my head. I have an urge to buy a whole pack of cigs (which I no longer smoke), smoke them, and then put them out on myself. Er, yeah, that's not healthy. No worries for anyone actually reading my stupid random entry... I won't actually DO it, I just have the urge, hence the therapy.

I decided to let the novel I lost when my computer died go for now, and start a new one. I have some ideas for the new one... again things I was jotting down in my planner at work, but I haven't actually started writing it yet. I want to have a better idea of all the major characters before I start, so I really have to flesh out my main character's family and friends first. Plus I'm still working on fanfiction, and I have to start over on formatting a poetry book for self-publishing via lulu.com... because I have people who are going to buy it. 

The fanfiction thing has been awesome for me, a way to practice writing, enjoy myself, and sometimes even explore my own psyche. (Undefined was a lot of that, coming out of a whole thought process about power within relationships and the power love holds over us, and the inability to tell apart different kinds of love.) For anyone who knows me, you'd know I have a major problem understanding boundaries in relationships, and often can't tell the difference or understand the lines between friend relationships and romantic ones... so that story was really close to home for me in a way.

I have another idea along the same lines that would play out very differently, and I might write it... after Defiance and Simply Begin, and my one-shot Rai/Iruka friendfic that takes place sometime after "The Gossip Game" and my next sequel in that universe... Gods, I have too many plot bunnies. I need to make some stew.